passions vs reality
9:35 p.m. - 08.09.2005

it's funny. sometimes i think i'm super idealistic and other times i think i'm super pessimistic, almost saditic.

katrina. hurricane. all those rapes and killing over there. i mean that's human. worst of mankind. it's so li2 suo3 dang1 ran2.

then, when it comes to certain things. i get so idealistic..about going for my passions..or others going..fighting hard for their passions.:)

i hate it when idealism gives in to reality. i know i hate that feeling. it makes me sad and depressed. then, i slowly reconcile myself with the facts. real life. get up . face it.

so weird. but then i still think passions can still stay alive in reality. i refuse to give up sometimes..

i jsut tell myself. i'm giving up for awhile. then, i'll pick it up..after i'm done with reality.

i wonder if i can.

i wonder how many in this world manage to.

reality. practicality.

i'm still idealistic overall. i guess? about how things would turn out to be?

regarding human beings. maybe i can see the best of humans. but yet i think humans can be scary. haa..like that sonia in heartlanders. scary stalker. :s

i think i can be scary too. i tihnk. hmm...:s haa...

hais. passions. i believe. a perfect life would be just doing something you like. really living a life full of passion. simple. but beautiful.

hais. but. i'm living in an ugly world. haa..full of realities. and, maybe i've come to understand...definitely not surrender!...came to understand that i can't fgo with my passions al the time...but i definitely can hold on to them. :) and lie back on them when reality wears me out.

i hope i can . i really hope.

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