luck.
11:05 a.m. - 19.03.2006

i think sometimes. what we need most in life...is luck?

T got into the livic def and then..okay..from what i understood..it's something like he could have had his name sent to the livic def academy and you know have some other opportunities..but the big one above him wanted him to stay as clerk. and then didn't have T's name in that list sent to the academy.

hais. it dawned on me how you know..many opportunities..could be just gone because of one single stupid person.

and maybe a whole different life could be just missed. because of just 1 stupid person. hm.

ha. but maybe that's life.

but hm. i hate this kind of helpless feeling. you know that you're being deprived of other opportunities you would very much want to pursue. yet. you can't do much. you can tell the person your intentions...tell him politely that you would like to pursue another path..another opporunity...and no. you can't because that's what that big one wants.

hais. when T was talking. you could sense frustration.anger.helplessness.injustice. but what could we do. we couldn't do anything. just curse that big one. and maybe it helped to ease the misery that T felt.

maybe. hais.and then. T can't possibly scold that big one. do anything that may offend him. i mean. hm. he can't get out of this situation any time soon. and. yup..you know. you offend someone and then. you prob won't have a very good time there..right?

well. my cousin. also very well got a chance ruined by another big one. she could hvave some chance of going overseas..i think to further studies.but for certain reasons..her big one helped her to reject it...hm..can't really remember was it a chance to further studies..not sure...but..u know..a good chance..i remembered...but the big one just rejected it for her.

hm. what is it. with this world.

i can feel injustice whatsoever. but then i somehow feel helpless.

it has once again told me that life isn't fair.

who said it was going to be fair anyway?

maybe we just need a little luck. hope the people u know are nice. hope that people above u are nice. hope this whole world is going to be nice. just nice. and warm. and loving.

ha. i must be dreaming again.

hm. you've got to be realistic u know.

you set your hopes for this world too high. you crash down harder.

believe me.

and what can i say. just make the best out of your situation.

guess so.

just don't hope too much.don't.

please don't.

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