educate.
12:06 p.m. - 30.01.2006

watched i not stupid too. :) quite good i think. cos quite a lot of things touched upon...thoughts expressed..seemed to hit right on the dot..:)

different viewpoints shown..different dilemmas.

i guess education. hmm..there isn't an absolute right or wrong. it's just a matter of balance...and those involved in this delicate task of moulding the future generation have to know when to go by the rules..when not to....i guess. it's easy to go by the rules all the time...but is the purpose achieved in the end? what is education?

maybe that's why i haven't really thought of having a job as a teacher...cos i haven't figured out what education should really be like...i don't see eye-to-eye with how the education system is like in singapore....and i don't want to see more and more children going under all the stress..the stress is inevitable...i guess..but is it too much? and, i doubt my ability to help these young ones find their path in life...maybe that's why i haven't really wanted to be a teacher.

it's not so easy to teach...and i guess no one really knew how to teach until they really started teaching.then..maybe..maybe i'll try relief teaching in 2nd term..though i'm not really sure...i need to psyche myself up to take on the job...:) and then i'll try then..i'll try to be a teacher...as i try to imagine what a teacher should really be...

with all the experiences of what was a "good" teacher and "bad" teacher...i thought that maybe i could be confident of a being a "good" one. but...knowing what is "good" and actually being a "good" one can be 2 different matters...and the latter can be harder than imagined...

i wonder how many students. have been sadly sacrificed in this education system...though of course it has its many shares of success stories...i wonder if those sacrifices were inevitable...? or could they have had muchmuch different outcomes...if..if..something had been done...?

and could we do something? and..maybe what could i do? i wonder...

in a supposedly top school ..everyone ..not everyone..maybe almost everyone wants to get s papers..get scholarships...go overseas....it seems the norm.

at one point in time..i could actually feel so much like a failure..cos i didn't really go for these things...and when most people has s papers ..talking about scholarships...and all that...i could feel so lousy at times...but then. again. i thought that i didn't want my whole jc life to be just filled with studying. and i did other stuff in j1...that i guess i have not regretted. maybe for now? i'm not really sure. but i did my best...and i will just see how things go...

i know that what others aim for..may be not what i want..i have my own ideals and aims to go for...but then again..i get pushed along with the same waves of thought...success=As=scholarship=overseas. but then maybe not. how could everyone's success be the same? then my mum talks about scholarships..and my lousy results...and blames my being too involved in 'other activities' for my poor results....maybe it's true? but i believe that there's no right and wrong in my choices. just different choices. and i what i expreience and gain..could never have been exchanged for. and no one could have the same experience that i had.

i guess it's hard not to feel a little dejected. a little unsuccessful. when you're stuck in an education system that focuses much on the AAAAAs. you can question. but few have the courage to walk a different path. some question. yet to reach their goal. they have no choice but to go through this path which they sincerely hope will bring them to their destination. some question. question out loud. and they get an answer. with a bigbig consequence. some lucky ones question. question out loud. and they do get answers.

brainwashing. it could be. that's education..isn't it? u get brainwashed to fit into a society. u get brainwashed to learn how to fit into society. u get brainwashed with what is considered 'right' in this society. u get brainwashed with processes..this is how you should do this..this is how you should do that..cos it's the most effecient. you should be blahblahblahblah. education is brainwashing. but i guess it's necessary to a certain extent? but then. after i'm brainwashed. i have to think first. to think if all this info i'm fed with..all these mindsets and ideas shared in this society...do they make sense?

and then when i question. there can be no answers. or most of the time defensive answers.

education. now out of the education system. i don't know if i want to play a part in it in the future.

education cannot suit everyone and streaming is ineitably one possible way of trying to help develop all. think it's the mindset of people that has resulted in the kind of education env we have.the stress...the discrimination.partly..the whole society...yet i don't really know how all these could be change. i'm not sure if the education system is changing for the better...I'm still thinking..thinking...and maybe i'll xiang3 tong1 one day. and maybe never too....

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