I have loved and lived life richly and deeply, and i embrace its closure with equal joy.
12:14 p.m. - 29.03.2006

ha. i'm reading catherine lim's 'unhurried thoughts at my funeral'. it's the first catherine lim book i'm reading after having heard her name so many times..>:)

and i really love the way she writes.

i like her attitude towards things. and how she is able to percieve a single subject from so many different point of views.

i like how she portrayed the funeral. and how the whole thing is written..haa..nicenice..but i haven't finished reading it. :)

it's interesting how different people view death. and just this morning..the chinese newspaper had a section discussing about teenage suicide. interesting. supposedly 5% of the suicidees(is that what you call people who commit suicide?) are 20years and below. and then it added that just this month...2 jc students committed suicide...suspected to be due to stress from studies?

yup. many people can say that suicide is indeed a selfish act. and it cannot solve problems. how do they know? maybe it did solve some problems. selfish act. probably so.hmm...i don't know..but sometimes i feel that statement about being selfish is rather harsh...

i think suicide isn't wrong. neither is it entirely right. but that's just my view. i believe that no one can entirely understand another person. no one can entirely understand what another person is going through. so, who are we to judge whether what someone has done is right or wrong? we are limited. limited by our own beliefs our own perceptions. our own narrow-mindedness. some of our preset notions. some of the beliefs that we had been brainwashed into.

i guess most people think suicide is WRONG. but.i think it's too absolute a statement.

it really depends on how you view your life. do u view life as something really valuable..something sacred? or life is just life? i mean. hais. i don't really see how sacred life...really is. what do u mean by life being sacred? and..if life is really sacred..why do some people who claim so support capital punishment...or think that some people don't deserve to live..because they did something supposedly so terrible that it justified death. why?

i don't blame the people who commit suicide. i don't scold them. maybe it's better to just respect their decision. give them the benefit of the doubt that it was the 'right' decision? maybe the pain and suffering was so unbearable that they just had to end their life. who are we to say that their suffering and pain is not enough a reason for them to end their life? who are we to judge the amount of pain tolerable? each person is different and if we can tolerate the pain...it doesn't mean another can...and vice versa.

and..often..people compare sufferings of different kinds.from the hunger stricken ethopian kids...to the poor and homeless...the scavangers...the stress of city dwellers...the pressurised little kiddos slogging away at school...

ultimately. they're different kinds of sufferings. mentally..physically? but..how do we compare such differnt types of sufferings? some would rather suffer physically...be hunger stricken than be mentally tortured in this pressure cooker...and there are those who would rather be under all that stress than to be homeless, hungry, helpless.

who can say that the helpless, homeless, hungry are not as happy as the city dwellers..rich..or maybe just leading an ok comfortable life. and, city dwellers are definitely happier than those helpless and poor?

hais. i think this entry is really messy. a lot of thoughts that suddenly popped up as i typed through.

i just wonder who are we to judge. and why are the suicidees judged so harshly. so frowned upon. so unforgivable. and. maybe sometimes..it's the living who are selfish....they bllame the suicidee for leaving them. all too suddenly. and would rather have had them suffering alive at their side? let me see...i'm just wondering...if the suicidee had lived on..would the now living have ever tried to help them...or in any way..could have observed that the person required help? sometimes. we are to blame. the ones who are still living.

maybe.

rambling thoughts again.

shall continue reading that funeral book by catherine lim. ;) thought-provoking.

i don't really want a funeral when i die. just cremate me. and let everyone go on with life.don't waste time with such formalities. i once though. and i still think so.

but maybe funerals bring a sort of finality. a full-stop. i'm not really sure.

so i'm rethinking my decision. haaa...it feels funny to be thinking of all this. but it's interesting to do so. maybe then if i die one day. there won't be too much hassle..too much consideration for those who are still living. so. maybe that's considered a responsible way of dying? planning out stuff so that everything is ready? ha. responsible dying.

hais. :P this is really a taboo topic. ha. my mum will surely say 'choy! choy!'

okies. i shall end my morbid entry with a quote from the book..which i think is really nice..."I have loved and lived life richly and deeply, and i embrace its closure with equal joy." it's suppose to be catherine lim's self-written obituary. :) nice. :)

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