can't wait. yet more misses.
10:21 p.m. - 02.09.2005

hai. sometimes i can be really concentrating hard. sometimes i just want to let go . like now.:)

sometimes i wished i could just sit down and talk to anyone. but it seems like we're all so busy trying to mug. i miss talking. i miss real talking.:) no time. :( i hate exams. but i know i can't run away from these things.

sometimes you don't really think you miss people ..until they suddenly sms you and sorts. or, when you suddenly think of someone and realised you haven't heard from him or her for such a long time.

wonder if i was too stress. dreamt of sheralyn..haa..she was holding this big purple book..chem book i think..had the sec. sch that text book pics..haa...she was mugging..or at least trying to mug. ;) we some how went to some freezing room to mug. weird.:P maybe cold mugging keeps you awake.:)

hais. i miss pb.:) i miss that feeling together. just like how i probably miss council now. when i see the juniors preparing for events. it brings back memories. and once i just stood and looked down from above. the lightings people in the parade square.:) hais. lao3 le.

i miss rg. i miss 403. i somehow got over all this missing. but it still lingers in my mind. mustmust meet up again..soon..i have to get the As over soon. :)

hais.:| i'm still thinking of my future. what am i going to do? i wonder how come some people can be so sure of what they want to do in life. why are they so sure they want that scholarship...their passion lies there..there..everywhere...is it wrong that i don't really know where to go from here? is it wrong that i don't have great ambitions for a scholarship...blahblah..great achievements?

but, what are really achievements? i mean...achievements to me...aren't really what you percieve them to be..right? i don't know.

i'm trying hard to deal with my expectations of life and what others expect.

if i live my life accordding to my expectations? woudl you have considered me a failure?

i don't know.

and. i don't know. sometimes chances do pass by. but how do i know it's the right time to grab the chance. when you just don't feel it's for you? how do you know? how do you know? people often say we'll know when the time comes. but, what if the time comes and i still don't know.

how do we learn how to live this life?

i really don't know.

i'm still full of questions. full of questions unanswered.

haa. i think i'll probably die one day with all these many unanswered questions. :) but at least i did bother to tihnk. yeah.

hais. but think too much also no good.:)

yups. hais. be happy.:) mugmugmug.:D yeah! i believe i can do it. i hope. i can. :)

happy mugging.:)

hope all my friends are fine. i've got lots of catching up with friends to do after As. and, i can't wait.

can't wait.

can't wait to see them. can't wait.

hais. there's this yearning. a sudden rush of adrenaline when i think of freedom after As. a sudden burst of excitement.

i get caught up in this illusion of happiness. i lose myself. then, i find myself. trying to believe the illusion has become reality.

then, i plonk back..on the hard floor of reality.

PLONK. hello.

i lost myself. thinking of...what would be. :)

<< || >>